The Dogs that Saved the World's Cheese
By Sarah
(in Grade 5)
Don't claim as your own!!
J This book is dedicated to cheese. Without it, this book would go nowhere. J
Author’s Note:
When I started writing this story, I thought, “I’m in the mood to write an, erm, different* story, preferably about cheese.” I had liked dogs (and still do), and the story plot kind of reminded me of my favourite “Explode the Moment”, so I added them in too.
The character “Taffy” is based on my adorable 1-year-old Golden Retriever, Taffy, who acts very hyper sometimes, is very social, and does stupid things sometimes.
Also, visit my website at “www.geocities.com/smackeil/dogandcheesebook.html”! Enjoy this book!
*Can also be substituted for the following words: Bizarre, strange, weird, unique, unusual or insane.
Chapter 1: No Cheese!
“Ruff! Whoo-hoo! My owner is eating cheese!” Mozzarella (otherwise known as Cheesie) the Yellow Labrador was very happy that her owner was eating a cheeseburger, because she normally gave Cheesie the leftover cheese. Cheesie loved cheese.
“Cheesieee! Want a piece of cheese?” called Cheesie’s owner, Lilianna (Lily).
Cheesie yipped in delight and dashed into the kitchen to get her delicious piece of cheese. She knew it was weird that her owner ate odd cheesy things for breakfast, but you wouldn’t see her complaining.
“I’m sorry, Lily, but you can’t give Cheesie leftovers today, we’re almost all out of cheese,” said Lily’s mother, Mrs. Cheddar, apologetically.
Cheesie whimpered and went back to uprooting the pillows on the living room couch, searching for cheese-flavoured popcorn.
How awful! thought Cheesie. I hope they go to the store soon! I’ll warn my friends at Doggy School tomorrow (It was Sunday), in case their family starts to run out of cheese, too!
It happened again on Monday.
Cheesie wasn’t very happy when she didn’t get the leftover cheese from Lily’s extra-cheese pizza, but was simply devastated when she found that her cheese-flavoured dog food had been replaced by chicken-flavoured dog food!!!
“Nooo!!!” yowled Cheesie loudly. “What is the world coming to when a dog doesn’t even get leftover cheese?!?!”
The weirdest thing was that Mr. Cheddar had been to the store last night!
“Quiet!” scolded Mrs. Cheddar.
“Her lack of receiving leftover cheese must be getting to her!” remarked Lily.
“Don’t be ridiculous!” snapped Lily’s father.
“He hasn’t had a cup of coffee this morning,” whispered Lily to Cheesie.
Later that morning when the Cheddars arrived at Doggy School, Cheesie went to the Puppy Playground to look for her friends.
When Cheesie saw her friends, she rounded them up for an emergency meeting of their club, Cheese Fanatics Unite (Cheesie was the president).
“Something’s wrong,” whined Cheesie, “Our family is out of cheese, and their not getting more!”
“I have the same problem!” barked Molly the Nova Scotian Duck Toller nervously.
“We’ll help you solve the mystery if it’s the last thing we do!” exclaimed Star the German Shepherd, sounding determined.
Cheesie smiled. Her best friends (the members of the CFU Club- Molly, Star, Taffy the Golden Retriever and Puff the Toy Poodle) knew how to cheer her up.
The bell rang.
When Cheesie, Puff, Star, Taffy and Molly got to their classroom, their teacher, Ms. Kaynyne, had an announcement.
“Today we are going to work on compromising.”
The class blinked.
“Compromising can help you get extra dog treats from your humans,” added Ms. Kaynyne.
Half the class started drooling, the other half looked hopeful.
“Anyway, first, I will put you in boy-girl pairs.”
Many of the boys made gagging sounds.
“Then, you have to compromise and decide on a food you both really like.”
Ms. Kaynyne assigned Rover the Black Labrador to be Cheesie’s partner, to her great disgust.
Rover was the president of the Banana Bunch, Cheese Fanatics Unite’s rival club. Cheesie growled under her breath.
The other pairs had started. Molly was having some trouble compromising with Spike, a fierce Cocker Spaniel.
“Chicken!” she started.
“Beef,” growled Spike.
“Beef? Uh, I love beef!” yipped Molly nervously.
Meanwhile, Rover decided it was about time they started too.
“Bananas,” he suggested.
“Cheese,” Cheesie barked, determined.
“Bananas,” Rover growled stubbornly.
“Cheese,” argued Cheesie.
“Bananas!”
“Cheese!”
“BANANAS!!!”
“Compromise,” warned Ms. Kaynyne.
“Okay… Banana-flavoured cheese?” suggested Cheesie.
“Cheesy bananas!”
“Banana-flavoured cheese!”
“Cheesy bananas!”
“Cheese!”
“BANANAS!”
“CHEESE!!!!!”
“ENOUGH!” exclaimed Ms. Kaynyne. “Rover, you go with Casie, and Cheesie, you go with Ralph.”
Ralph was a nice guy, so they agreed on cheeseburgers.
“Ruff ruff rowf wooooooof!” howled a robotic voice from the wall.
“Recess!” yelped Puff with relief. She’d been stuck with Blaze the Pekingese, the vice-president of the Banana Bunch, and he was incredibly stubborn and annoying.
When they got outside, Cheesie and her friends decided they needed time off school if they were going to save the world’s cheese! (Heroic music started playing for about thirty seconds).
“Molly, can you go? You’re the most innocent-looking,” pleaded Cheesie.
“Alright,” Molly exclaimed enthusiastically.
Cheesie, Taffy, Puff and Star waited outside Ms. Kaynyne’s classroom. A few minutes later, Molly bounded out, tail wagging joyfully, looking triumphant.
“I told her about our plan to save the world’s cheese, and-” (the heroic music started playing for another thirty seconds) “-she laughed, but we’re allowed as much time off school as we need, and she’s going to call our owners so they don’t worry!!!”
“YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” barked the dogs very loudly in unison.
“Be QUIET!!!” exclaimed Mr. Doggydude, the librarian, who had come out of the library, hearing the racket.
Chapter 3: More Cheesy Jokes!
“Let’s go to the Holehouse at the park to form a plan,” suggested Star. The Holehouse was the dogs’ clubhouse, only it was underground.
When they got there, Taffy growled at the author.
“You’ve barely mentioned me yet!!!!!”
Taffy the beautiful and adorable golden retriever-
“That’s more like it!!!!!”
Anyway, Taffy wagged her tail wildly before sitting on the purple, fuzzy, good-as-new couch the CFU members found at the dump (then washed off thoroughly), curling up with “Cheese Cheesy-noodle Soup for the Incredibly Hyper Canine Soul™”, her favourite book and started to read it for the 6 000 092nd time.
Her eyes slowly started to droop…
AAAAHHH!!!! Sarah’s brain exploded, the earth turned pink, and all shoes turned into evil stinky blue robotic bananas!!! NOOOO!!!
Taffy woke up sweating and panting heavily.
“Whew, it was just a dream!” she panted.
“Enough about Taffy already!” yipped Puff.
“Move over,” growled Cheesie, annoyed.
Taffy sat up and moved over for Cheesie, who held the remote control to the fur-presence-powered TV that the dogs had found at the dump, too.
Cheesie pushed a button, and leaned back to watch her favourite movie (it happened to be on), “Banana World 2: Revenge of the Cheese”.
All of a sudden, the image of terrified bananas was replaced with one of an evil-looking turtle.
“I shall steal the world’s cheese
one
step
at
a
time!” he cackled.
“I am the evil Mr. Cheezisevil!!! MUAHAHAHA!!! I like owning stuff! Today all cheese… Tomorrow the WORLD! Also, I want to impress my girlfriend.” A beautiful female turtle wearing mascara waddled into the camera range, gazing at Mr. Cheezisevil in an admiring way. “MUAHAHAHA!!! (Cough)” Mr. Cheezisevil started coughing. “(Cough) ow, evil (cough) laughter hurts (cough) the throat! Ahem, ahem. That’s better. Anyway, my plan is working supremely, so it would be impossible to even try to enter my secret hideout on the moon, activated by the password “Mozzarella Cheddar”! Wait, WHO ADDED THAT TO MY SCRIPT?!?!!! Forget I said that!!! L MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I am (cough cough cough) EVIL!!!”
The TV went back to showing the movie.
“The password’s my name!” gasped Cheesie.
“Next stop, the moon!” cried Star.
“But I haven’t finished my book yet!” whined Taffy.
Chapter 4: Yet Another Chapter Title Including Cheese!
“How will we get there?” worried Molly.
“Maybe one of us hid a rocket under our human’s bed!” suggested Cheesie. “Not me, though.”
“That’s a ridiculous idea!” scoffed Puff.
“Me neither,” whined Star.
“It’s a stupid idea!” growled Puff.
“I wish I did!!!!!” barked Taffy.
“Why would anyone do that? THE IDEA’S INSANE!!!” wailed Puff.
“Maybe for comic relief for Sarah’s book,” pointed out Molly, “but I didn’t either.”
The four friends gazed at Puff expectantly.
“Okay, so maaaybe I did…” Puff admitted sheepishly.
The dogs’ conversation was interrupted by a loud commercial coming from the TV, still on.
“Come buy our tooothpaste, come buy our tooooothpaste!” sang the dancing hamster with a mustache that filled the screen. “Iiiiit will maaaake your teeth whiiiiite!”
Star turned off the TV.
“Tomorrow’s liftoff day,” decided Cheesie. “Pack a small bag, and don’t forget the rocket, Puff!!!”
“Yippeeeee!!!!!! I can’t wait!!!!!!” exclaimed Taffy.
“We can see that,” muttered Star under her breath.
Chapter 5: The Moon Was Made of Glowing Mozzarella Cheese…
The next day, at the Holehouse-
“Molly arrived looking beautiful as always,” interrupted Molly, striding into the depths of the Holehouse.
Anyway, at the Holehouse, the CFU members arrived, including Puff, flying her rocket.
Puff landed the rocket smoothly (for Puff, that includes knocking thirteen trees over) and ushered the dogs inside.
“WAIT FOR ME!!!” hollered Puff, who arrived just then and was panting heavily. “My evil twin, Poof, unset my alarm clock!!! Grrr!!!” Puff looked like she was barely restraining herself from using language I couldn’t repeat in this book.
“This is gonna be FUN!!!!!! Three, two, one- BLAST OFF!!!!!” shouted Taffy happily over the roar of the rocket’s engines. “WHEEEE!”
“I think I’m going to be sick,” groaned Puff, rushing to the rocket’s bathroom- “PUFF!”
“What?” asked Puff calmly.
“THE ROCKET DOESN’T HAVE A BATHROOM!!!!!!” howled Puff.
“Oops, did I fail to mention that I forgot to bring the portable lawn?” asked Puff nervously, not sounding so calm.
“Sarah!!!!! You made Puff talk to herself!!!!!” accused Taffy.
Oops… The Puff feeling sick (Evil Puff Clone #7 852 394) suddenly evaporated.
“Erm, I hate to mention it… But where are the other 7 852 393 evil Puff clones?!?” asked Molly, on the verge of hysterics.
To the dogs’ dismay, 7 852 393 evil Puff clones suddenly appeared.
“Sar-ah!” groaned Cheesie.
“Muahaha, I AM EVIL!!!” cackled Puff. Oops, I mean Evil Puff Clone #4 227 691!
“Sarah!” repeated Cheesie sternly.
The evil Puff clones evaporated.
“That’s better,” sighed Star and Molly together with relief.
“You know, I bet that Mr. Cheezisevil stole all the cows, cheese-making machines, books about how to make cheese, people and employees that can make cheese, and even milk products, too!” Cheesie yelped.
Taffy’s Quadruple-chocolatey-cheese-flavoured milkshake evaporated.
“Hey!!!!! Too many things are evaporating around here!!!!!” growled Taffy. “Evil Sarah!!!!!!”
Taffy’s milkshake materialized, the only milkshake within the galaxy. Taffy slurped it happily.
Puff looked like she was not feeling well.
“I have 7 852 394 evil clones?” she asked faintly. “On second thought, I agree with Evil Puff Clone 7 852 394- I don’t feel so well.” Puff fainted.
~~~~~~~~~~J~~~~~~~Time goes on, and…~~~~~~~J~~~~~~~~~~~
When the friends got to the moon (and Puff woke up and insisted she was fine), Puff landed the rocket face-first (if rockets had faces) into a crater (or maybe it caused the crater, it was hard to tell). Unfortunately, she had landed it so straight (upside-down) that the rocket didn’t tip over, so they were trapped.
“Ow,” moaned the dogs in unison as they were flung towards the rocket’s ceiling. “PUFF!!!”
Puff sat up, looking sheepish. (For a dog, that’s an amazing thing, because they normally look doggish.) “Well, it would have hurt more if we had tipped over,” she pointed out.
“You shouldn’t have mentioned that, Puff, because every time we say something like that, Sarah makes it happen,” warned Cheesie. “TAFFY, STOP!!!”
Taffy, still feeling hyper, had started running around the room, hitting a wall every three seconds, failing to realize the stupidity of the action.
The rocket started rocking… I bet you can guess what happened next.
“Taffy!” groaned Molly as the dogs were flung sideways.
“Oooooooooooops!!!!!!!” yelped Taffy loudly.
“You’re right, Puff, this is going to hurt,” remarked Star.
It did.
“At least nobody’s bleeding, dead, on fire or electrocuted,” commented Molly cheerfully, “maybe a little bruised, though…”
“I’ve that heard the moon’s made of glowing mozzarella cheese!” exclaimed Star.
“Me toooo!!!!!!” Taffy said happily. “I can’t wait to taste it!!!!” she paused, suddenly looking concerned. “Did I say that out loud??!!!!”
The dogs got out of the rocket.
“Must… Have… Air…” croaked Molly.
“I caaaan’t breathe!!!!!” gasped Taffy hyperly.
The CFU members looked at Puff accusingly. “PUFF!!! (Gasp)”
“Oops, did I forget to pass out the space-breath collar attachments?” Puff passed out collar attachments. The dogs hurriedly put them on, and they could breathe again.
Taffy bit the moon. “OW!!!”
“An evil turtle (Mr. Mozzarellaisyucky or something) turned the moon to stone! It’s normally made of glowing mozzarella cheese,” said a voice behind them. The dogs turned around and saw a 2-foot-tall blue chicken. “Don’t look so startled,” he said. “My name is Bawko.” A white-with-black-spotted metal band fastened around Bawko’s left ankle started unleashing a noise that sounded suspiciously like a cow mooing. “That’s odd; she normally comes at midnight, not in the morning.”
“What? Who does?” questioned Molly. “Something that will make me chip one of my nail-polished claws?”
“Duck,” said Bawko simply.
All of the dogs ducked except Taffy, who barked happily, “Duck?!!! What duck?!!! I like ducks!!!!! I also like chasing them!!! I don’t see a duck!!!!” suddenly she looked nervous. “I see a cow, though!!!” Taffy leaped out of the way just in time to avoid a cow that had jumped from Earth to the moon.
“That’s Daisy,” introduced Bawko. “She’s our daily, no, nightly messenger from Earth. If she’s coming now, it must be urgent.”
Chapter 7: The End of This Cheesy Story?
“That was easy,” remarked Puff. She attempted to push open the door.
“What is the password?” asked the door in a robotic voice, causing the startled dogs to leap backwards.
“Uh, uh, ‘Mozzarella Cheddar’?” Cheesie managed to squeak out.
“Correct.” The door swung open.
“Oooooo!!!!” cried Taffy in delight, drooling.
The Cheese-Stealer 6 000 092 was in the huge room, but so was all the cows, all milk products, every book about how to make cheese, all people, employees and machines that could make cheese and… THE CHEESE ITSELF!!!
The dogs started carrying all the food, people (who were tied up and gagged), books, cows and machines that could make cheese, outside. It took a few hours, and it was hard work, but finally they were done except for the one piece of cheese Star kept as a souvenir and called “Cheesie Junior”. Then the dogs untied and ungagged the people. For the grand finale, Cheesie pressed the button on the Cheese-Stealer 6 000 092 that read, “Self-destruct in five minutes button, DO NOT PRESS UNLESS YOU’RE A GOOD GUY!”.
“You may steal the stuff I stole and wreck my secret hideout… But-” started MR. CHEEZISEVIL, who was standing right BEHIND THE DOGS! The dogs turned around.
“That’s not so secret,” muttered Molly under her breath.
“-I shall steal your LIVES!!! MUAHAHAHAHA!!! (Cough cough)” the dogs, petrified, watched Mr. Cheezisevil press a button on the big blue sombrero he was wearing and the doors swung shut and made a metallic “click” as they locked. “See ya, Suckers!” he pressed another button and he teleported outside. Also, the room’s windows vanished suddenly.
The truth hit the dogs as hard as a peanut butter sandwich (wait, that’s not hard!). They were trapped. In an evil turtle’s “secret” hideout. In the same room as a machine that was going to explode in four minutes and thirty-seven seconds. With no chance of escape.
Chapter 8: Cheese Triumphs Over Evil!!!
“Quick! Give me some cheese! It helps me to think!” urged Cheesie.
Star sadly passed her Cheesie Junior.
“Hmmm…” considered Cheesie. “Well… Were there any other buttons on the machine?”
Molly checked. “Well, there’s the “brush your teeth” button, the “dematerialize shoe” button, the “blast emergency exit hole in the wall and arrest bad guy” button, and-”
“Press that one!!!!!!!” yelped Taffy.
When she did, a big hole was blasted into the wall, and when the dogs went outside, Mr. Cheezisevil was being taken to jail in a metal cage that went “clang, clang” when the police officers carrying it walked. Mr. Cheezisevil went into his shell to try to escape from the loud noise.
“It’s my fault! He didn’t do it!” pleaded his girlfriend.
“You go with him, then,” grunted one of the police officers, and she was thrust into the cage as well.
“Darn.”
“You did it!” called Bawko to the dogs, who had been watching the scene from the sky.
Suddenly a loud robotic voice erupted from the Cheese-Stealer 6 000 092, still inside. “Three, Two, One, BOOM!!!”
But nothing happened.
“You didn’t think I’d really explode, did you? Ha ha!”
Cheesie groaned.
The End!!!